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<<nobr>> <<set $hr = "01">> <<set $mi = "02">> <<set $ap = "p">> <div class="clock"><<print $hr>>:<<print $mi>><<print $ap>></div> <</nobr>>ah, it's been a while, hasn't it? [[yeah...]]

<<link "see you soon" "strt">><<script>>state.restart();<</script>><</link>>

<<nobr>> <<set $mi = "03">> <div class="clock"><<print $hr>>:<<print $mi>><<print $ap>></div> <</nobr>>I never really figured out how to add an element to this thing that would persist on the page unless I added it every single passage. lol. anyways. what did you wanna hear from me about? <<include "talmbout">>

<<nobr>> <<set $hr = "1">> <<set $mi = "05">> <div class="clock"><<print $hr>>:<<print $mi>><<print $ap>></div> <</nobr>>currently? fine. procrastinating in the middle of class at the moment. in general? I've been doing a lot worse than I thought I would be by now. like, mentally, I mean. being in school reminds me of how little in my life I have control over. I started tearing up in the car right after getting out of [[work]] last night, about that shit. I feel like I'm just wasting my time, again. <<include "talmbout">>

<<nobr>> <<set $hr = "2">> <<set $mi = "42">> <div class="clock"><<print $hr>>:<<print $mi>><<print $ap>></div> <</nobr>>in my new apartment, mostly. I moved out on the first day of june so I could live off campus come the fall semester, which is what I'm in now. I had to readjust, unpack everything, go back home to grab more stuff, unpack again, figure out how to hand in rent since rent is my job, find a [[job|work]], adjust to that, prepare for the semester, and start the semester. living away from family but actually now instead of just a college dorm is nice. I'm busy every day of the week though. through all of it, I've mostly not been online. the [[dumb fiasco that made me jump the fediverse boat|fedi]] was before this move and all, and I didn't go back to twitter, so I haven't had a constant stream of bullshit in my life besides the one provided by my friends. I mean, yeah, I check tumblr, but like. once every other week at most, and I only do it to queue up images I think are pretty, or memes I think are especially dumb. I still watch a lot of youtube though. it's replaced TV for me, since we don't have cable. and I don't pay for [[netflix]] or whatever else. <<include "talmbout">>

<<nobr>> <<set $hr = "2">> <<set $mi = "55">> <div class="clock"><<print $hr>>:<<print $mi>><<print $ap>></div> <</nobr>>I mean, obviously not, lol. didn't keep up with this, didn't keep up with making bitsies, or actual twine games, or updating the website... haven't [[kept up with really any social media|fedi]]... it's two weeks into classes and I'm already behind on most homework... so eh. I'm trying to make things better: I got back into [[habitica|https://habitica.com/]]. made a new account, though, because my first one was from... I don't even know how many years ago. I'm in a party with one irl friend and his friend that I met once because she visited for a few days over the summer. she was cool. and habitica is helping me keep up with some basic stuff, and motivates me to do more... I'm trying my best. I'm hanging out with all the friends I have that I live with now (both on my floor and the first floor), but any other friends I had last semester that I'm not living with are falling to the usual wayside. I'm gonna try to go back to zine club today, but I can only go [[every other week now|motw]]... <<include "talmbout">>

<<if !visited("how are you?")>>[[how are you?]] <<endif>><<if !visited("where have you been?")>>[[where have you been?]] <<endif>><<if !visited("still keeping up with everything?")>>[[still keeping up with everything?]] <<endif>> [[I'm done asking.]]

<<nobr>> <<set $mi = "15">> <div class="clock"><<print $hr>>:<<print $mi>><<print $ap>></div> <</nobr>>oh yeah, I got a real job. second one in my life. I work in bakery setup in the town's shoprite. basically you go through the freezer and pull out all the stuff the bakers need for tomorrow. I also go through and mark down stuff that's about to go bad, and sweep/mop the floor behind the bakery. it pays minimum wage (which is more in new york in new jersey so that's nice) and I work ~35 hours a week. it doesn't take me that long to do everything if I'm actually trying to move fast, but I fill my time. [[ah, okay|previous()]]

<<nobr>> <<set $mi = "49">> <div class="clock"><<print $hr>>:<<print $mi>><<print $ap>></div> <</nobr>>oh, you want to know about that? it was people getting mad that otherkin exist, and then instigating fights so that everyone could make everyone else look bad. talking about it now wouldn't do anything, and besides, the instance I was on (the server that was serving the fediverse code to my account) was shut down at some point. I don't know when, because people didn't like their instances archived, which makes enough sense, but means I can't check back on it. I lost a lot of picrew doll maker images I made because some of them I only posted there and didn't save. shame. [[I see...|previous()]]

<<nobr>> <<set $mi = "53">> <div class="clock"><<print $hr>>:<<print $mi>><<print $ap>></div> <</nobr>>NO I don't have a netflix account. YES I still watched Enter the Florpus. WE EXIST!!1! one of my friends on the first floor of the apartment-house watched it with me. it was their second time, and we got to subject two other people to the cartoon that is invader zim for the first time. it was cool! really reminiscent of the actual show, as far as I can tell. next we have to watch the rocko's modern life one together. [[neat!|previous()]]

<<nobr>> <<set $hr = "3">> <<set $mi = "47">> <div class="clock"><<print $hr>>:<<print $mi>><<print $ap>></div> <</nobr>>alright. here's a shortlist of other things I figure I should mention: - <<linkappend "I signed up for OKCupid">>... since I heard it's less for hookups than tinder is, and I wanted to try dating people again, I guess. I've had a chat with one or two people, but I don't really know how to turn that into... going on a date. besides, I hardly have time for shit like that now.<</linkappend>> - <<linkappend "I have a car now">>. that way I can get around town and further on my own. it was supposed to be old but now it's a 2015-model car, because my mom freaked out about it maybe not working 100% well. I was hoping that one day I could pay it back... and a few months later the whole front bumper flew off. so that's held in place by one $20 screw, and my parents don't get to know about it because fuck talking about this shitty broken expensive car with them. they wasted their money.<</linkappend>> - <<linkappend "I drive around with one of my friends a lot in it">>... well, really, they drive and I sit in the passenger seat. it started because they were getting their license and needed practice. now they have a license but their plans for their own car fell through for now, so I let them use mine. I'm pretty sure they put more miles on it than I have. I don't mind, they're fun drives. I like being the passenger on a nice drive to just get out. I'm glad I can associate that experience with other people now. and they at the very least tolerate my music.<</linkappend>> - <<linkappend "I got a packer">>. yknow, a fake soft dick to stick in your pants. it's uncut, and blue. I never really wanted a realistic packer, and I've been looking at the ones [[baddragon|https://bad-dragon.com/shop]] makes because the idea of having dicks most people can't is great to me, but apparently they're massive and modelled hard despite a soft material. I'm still thinking of getting the flint one as a pack-and-play, though, since... I kinda want something I can use at some point. it's cute, also uncut, little piercings... anyways. the one I do have is fun to play around with, easy enough to wash, and it hasn't fallen out despite me not actually using any sort of harness/pouch to hold it in place. gotta buy a harness too, huh... expensive...<</linkappend>> I think that's it for now. still thinking about [[other things]], but I dunno how much I want to actually write about them right now. all of this is a ploy to avoid doing homework anyways. [[goddamnit, do your homework.]]

<<nobr>> <<set $hr = "3">> <<set $mi = "05">> <div class="clock"><<print $hr>>:<<print $mi>><<print $ap>></div> <</nobr>>I play d&d on sundays still, that's still happening. it took forever to level up from 8 to 10... but now I also play a tabletop game called monster of the week. it's ran by another friend in the house, and pretty much everyone who plays the d&d campaign is in this, with the addition of the one person living on the first floor who wasn't in the d&d group. it's a lot simpler mechanically, and a lot more roleplay-heavy, but I enjoy it a lot! the "keeper" (gm) has a different style of worldbuilding than the d&d dm, and I feel like I've done a lot more with my normal human character's backstory than I ever did with a d&d character, mostly because monster of the week (normally) takes place in the modern day real world, so I can include stuff about places I've been to irl, or events that happened in real history, stuff like that. also, I very much am playing a Normal Human. that's what most of the characters should be, although a lot of the "playbooks" (classes) have added low-fantasy stuff, or near-high-fantasy if you homebrew hard enough (looking at you, character-that-transforms-into-a-dragon). my playbook is the mundane, which is just like. the normal person. as a joke, like most my characters start out as, I decided the character would be The Straight Man. like. both as the trope of the person who's supposed to call out when something's absolute bullshit (just to get proven wrong by the weird world/other characters), and also as a cishet man. neither of those aspects of him lasted very long... but he's still a really fun character. I love him and the dynamics he has with both the other player characters and his own backstory npcs. [[sounds fun!|previous()]]

<<nobr>> <<set $hr = "4">> <<set $mi = "10">> <div class="clock"><<print $hr>>:<<print $mi>><<print $ap>></div> <</nobr>>getting over my various issues and traumas, how I keep getting crushes on friends despite knowing I would just ruin the friendships, getting way too upset when someone tells me my genetalia (real or removable) is gross, working on my mental health, being honest with people, my ever-climbing despair about my life not being worth persuing for myself and how I should live to make everyone else happier, getting angry at other people for them being shitty due to their own issues, fearing/doubting all my friends, all that good good shit. you know how it is. [[...|previous()]]

<<nobr>> <<set $hr = "4">> <<set $mi = "15">> <div class="clock"><<print $hr>>:<<print $mi>><<print $ap>></div> <</nobr>>but I don't waaaannaaaaa... and since you're reading this in the future, you can't make me. [[fuck.]]

<<nobr>> <<set $hr = "4">> <<set $mi = "15">> <div class="clock"><<print $hr>>:<<print $mi>><<print $ap>></div> <</nobr>>haha, got you with that one. anyways, I'm now realizing that I really, really should have brought something with me to eat, because I don't want to buy food on campus. shit's expensive. luckily(?) for me I'm picking up someone from work to bring them to zine club with me, and she works at tops, so I can just get something there. just gotta wait it out... maybe I'll open this back up later tonight to write more, maybe I'll just put it online. let's see what happens... <<timed 5s>>[[...well?]]<</timed>>

<<nobr>> <<set $hr = "9">> <<set $mi = "13">> <div class="clock"><<print $hr>>:<<print $mi>><<print $ap>></div> <</nobr>>well, hey. I'm back. for a bit, at least. [[how was the rest of the day?]]

<<nobr>> <<set $mi = "15">> <div class="clock"><<print $hr>>:<<print $mi>><<print $ap>></div> <</nobr>>well, there were a shitton of people at zine club, which is good. I feel like I was too loud and obnoxious as I normally am around people I'm trying to be friends with. but I made something small with my time and apparently there are now plans where we teach stuff to each other each meeting, so I'm thinking of maybe doing that with like, digital stuff. like twine!! despite being entirely out of practice! [[I see...]]

<<nobr>> <<set $mi = "18">> <div class="clock"><<print $hr>>:<<print $mi>><<print $ap>></div> <</nobr>>but besides that nothing too eventful. now I'm watching the latest episode of polygon's unraveled with a friend. I'm gonna close this out for the night and post it onto the site. ...should I try to do this regularly again? as a way to keep myself writing something, and to have somewhere to rant about shit now that I'm really not on social media? [[sure, why not|ehhh]] [[no don't do it|ehhh]]

<<nobr>> <<set $mi = "23">> <div class="clock"><<print $hr>>:<<print $mi>><<print $ap>></div> <</nobr>>well, no matter what you think, I think I will do it. I think I'll make a habitica daily too, because I need more of those, of course. I'll see you soon, hopefully <<include "end">>